Relationships.... meanings and reality!!!

We say relatives are decided by God and friends by us... we can't choose our relatives but we can always choose our friends.

Simultaneously, we also criticize the West for not understanding the importance of relatives. As we famously say it, Masi is Aunty, Bua is also Aunty, Chachi, Mami, everyone is Aunty.....

One thing I don't understand is... how does it matter???? Isn't it more important to give a relative his status on the basis of how strong the bond is and not on the basis of names. Honestly, if you look at our culture, Mom would like you to be more friendly towards her family members, cousins inclusive and Dad would want his to have its importance. How we individually feel about any of them doesn't really count. Its more of a relationship which has been forced upon you rather than a relationship based on love and respect..... (There are a lot of exceptions to this ofcourse, but I am talking about the cases where it is forced)

Then again, coming to the relationships that we can choose ourselves (in most cases, friends)... How are they taken in our society?? A country that emphasizes on the strength of its relationships is weak when it comes to any relationship that is not blood based....!!

When you like to spend more than required time with a close friend, you have to give a thousand and ten explanations to your parents. If by mistake your best friend is of the opposite sex.. you are dead dude....!!! You will end up spending most of your time explaining to everyone that the person is JUST A FRIEND!!!


Then there are a few people. Who are more than friends. More like family.Bhai, Bhabhi, Aunty, Uncle, Mother and Father even. But to consider them close would be a sin in the society as there are not genes involved to prove the relationship. There would be questions raised, which would have to be answered.

We say that our relations are strong, that we should keep our relatives close so that they could support us in our bad times and enjoy with us during the good ones. They say that your relative would be a person who would stand by you in the nth hour. I agree. But doesn't the next door neighbor do that job better? Infact in times of need, look around. Who stands by you, your relatives or the people you consider to be close to you??

I somehow find the western culture much better in these cases. They have relatives... though they all end up being Uncles and Aunts.. but they are still there.... and they stand by you too... but there is another set of people whom you have given more importance than your family... people around you... people who know you well... people who accept you the way you are... and people who stand by you....

But there you would not have to prove your relationship. Its just a mutual bonding that requires no name. People of opposite sex can be friends and nothing else without having to name their relationship via a rakhi and no one cares...

Then why is it that we live in a society where you have to give an explanation for being happy???

Do relationships get defined only by their names or do their meanings, their depth have any importance???